The goblins charged at the bandits, while sending in their goblin dogs to deal with the Sczarni’s animals.
The goblin dogs made short work of ripping through the dogs and horses, while Kim-yay and Spook killed most of the bandits. Sk1ttlez letting the last one die reluctantly, but only after burning out the Sczarni’s eyes with his corrosive blade.
Once all of the bandits were dead, Kay-yay tipped out their cookpot to find that they had cooked all of the goblin’s truffles. He thought what all the goblins deserved for finding this out was a nice fresh stew, so he began putting one together. He took all of the items from the Sczarni caravans; various
bits of jewelry, a well-preserved ham, three jugs of mead, one pound of cloves, a brass prosthetic foot and a lesser strand of prayer beads with one bead of blessing remaining. To this mix he added three dead dogs and eight fresh bandit hands, and let the mixture simmer.
While the stew was cooking, Angry Lynn burst in to the clearing on the back of Squealy Nord. the group figured that with their trusty pig there, they should head in to the bestest truffle field and gather up some fresh truffles for their tribe.
They all made their way into the back acreage of
the abandoned farmstead that wast the bestest truffle field. A huge oak stood on the north edge of the wide clearing. Its
trunk was covered in vines, and its tangled roots sheltered a fertile garden bed known to be the source of the best truffles in the area. A ruined silo not far away turned out to be the home to a young harpy, who was woken by the sound of goblins arguing outside her roost.
The harpy charmed many of the goblins, while Spook and Kay-yay began rooting around in the dirt for truffles with Squealy Nord.
Sizzlebang managed to break free of the harpy’s captivating song just in time to notice the assassin vine slipping it’s tendrils around Kay-yay back under the old oak.
Sizzle bank blew up the harpy and rushed back to the tree with his comrades. Sk1ttlez leapt forward and freed his new friend, then the group gathered up their truffles and left the field to lick their wounds.
Back at the campsite the group gathered around the stew pot and took a drink of Kay-yay’s strange creation. Then, feeling oddly blessed, they made their way back to the Birdcruncher cave.
When they arrived, all was in chaos. Shouts and screams pierced the air surrounding the Birdcruncher cave. The smell of the feast
was… different. Mixed into the scent was a greasy smell peppered with burning wood, straw, and sulfur. The smell was goblin—cooking goblin. All of the preparations were in shambles. The
tables overturned, the cook pots knocked over, and the goblin
dog pens on fire.
Some of the goblins, chiefly Reg Runtweed and Plunger, had constructed an effigy celebrating their chieftains’ past accomplishments. Reg Runtweed and some other goblins ventured to the sites of their chieftains’ heroic battles and collected trophies that would remind them of their mighty victories. Unknown to Reg, one of the goblins snatched the skull of Vorka—the cannibalistic goblin druid—and incorporated it and some of her bones into the statue.
Now her vileness seethed through the effigy, causing it to shudder to some semblance of life. Vorka’s disembodied voice
shrieked as the effigy crashed through the clearing, calling for more goblins for her cook pot, grotesquely describing her preferred butchering methods, and pointing out how particular goblins might taste.
The effigy charged at the Chieftains, and Spook took a firework to the face as it exploded out from within the construct. The gunslingers Angry Lynn and Kim-Yay shot up the effigy in anger, and when it was just beginning to crumble, Sk1ttlez ran up and stabbed Vorka’s skull, destroying it once and for all.
As Sk1ttlez farted in happiness, Angry Lynn dragged Plunger out from under an overturned cook pot and shot his face off. With the goblin chief effigy destroyed, the goblins of the Birdcruncher tribe slowly snuck out from their hiding places, ready once again to cheer their beloved chieftains. They bowed and scraped at their fearless leaders before, but now—after witnessing the destruction of the fireworks-laden monstrosity—the goblins of the Birdcruncher tribe would follow their Chieftains into Hell.
It took a bit of time, but with a little cleaning up and additional cooking, the feast went on!