Campbelltown Pathfinders

We Be Goblins Free: Part 2
The Truffle Hunt

The goblins charged at the bandits, while sending in their goblin dogs to deal with the Sczarni’s animals.

The goblin dogs made short work of ripping through the dogs and horses, while Kim-yay and Spook killed most of the bandits. Sk1ttlez letting the last one die reluctantly, but only after burning out the Sczarni’s eyes with his corrosive blade.

Once all of the bandits were dead, Kay-yay tipped out their cookpot to find that they had cooked all of the goblin’s truffles. He thought what all the goblins deserved for finding this out was a nice fresh stew, so he began putting one together. He took all of the items from the Sczarni caravans; various
bits of jewelry, a well-preserved ham, three jugs of mead, one pound of cloves, a brass prosthetic foot and a lesser strand of prayer beads with one bead of blessing remaining. To this mix he added three dead dogs and eight fresh bandit hands, and let the mixture simmer.

While the stew was cooking, Angry Lynn burst in to the clearing on the back of Squealy Nord. the group figured that with their trusty pig there, they should head in to the bestest truffle field and gather up some fresh truffles for their tribe.

They all made their way into the back acreage of
the abandoned farmstead that wast the bestest truffle field. A huge oak stood on the north edge of the wide clearing. Its
trunk was covered in vines, and its tangled roots sheltered a fertile garden bed known to be the source of the best truffles in the area. A ruined silo not far away turned out to be the home to a young harpy, who was woken by the sound of goblins arguing outside her roost.

The harpy charmed many of the goblins, while Spook and Kay-yay began rooting around in the dirt for truffles with Squealy Nord.
Sizzlebang managed to break free of the harpy’s captivating song just in time to notice the assassin vine slipping it’s tendrils around Kay-yay back under the old oak.

Sizzle bank blew up the harpy and rushed back to the tree with his comrades. Sk1ttlez leapt forward and freed his new friend, then the group gathered up their truffles and left the field to lick their wounds.

Back at the campsite the group gathered around the stew pot and took a drink of Kay-yay’s strange creation. Then, feeling oddly blessed, they made their way back to the Birdcruncher cave.
When they arrived, all was in chaos. Shouts and screams pierced the air surrounding the Birdcruncher cave. The smell of the feast
was… different. Mixed into the scent was a greasy smell peppered with burning wood, straw, and sulfur. The smell was goblin—cooking goblin. All of the preparations were in shambles. The
tables overturned, the cook pots knocked over, and the goblin
dog pens on fire.

Some of the goblins, chiefly Reg Runtweed and Plunger, had constructed an effigy celebrating their chieftains’ past accomplishments. Reg Runtweed and some other goblins ventured to the sites of their chieftains’ heroic battles and collected trophies that would remind them of their mighty victories. Unknown to Reg, one of the goblins snatched the skull of Vorka—the cannibalistic goblin druid—and incorporated it and some of her bones into the statue.

Now her vileness seethed through the effigy, causing it to shudder to some semblance of life. Vorka’s disembodied voice
shrieked as the effigy crashed through the clearing, calling for more goblins for her cook pot, grotesquely describing her preferred butchering methods, and pointing out how particular goblins might taste.

The effigy charged at the Chieftains, and Spook took a firework to the face as it exploded out from within the construct. The gunslingers Angry Lynn and Kim-Yay shot up the effigy in anger, and when it was just beginning to crumble, Sk1ttlez ran up and stabbed Vorka’s skull, destroying it once and for all.

As Sk1ttlez farted in happiness, Angry Lynn dragged Plunger out from under an overturned cook pot and shot his face off. With the goblin chief effigy destroyed, the goblins of the Birdcruncher tribe slowly snuck out from their hiding places, ready once again to cheer their beloved chieftains. They bowed and scraped at their fearless leaders before, but now—after witnessing the destruction of the fireworks-laden monstrosity—the goblins of the Birdcruncher tribe would follow their Chieftains into Hell.

It took a bit of time, but with a little cleaning up and additional cooking, the feast went on!

We Be Goblins Free: Part 1
We Be Bored!

After a few days of celebratory feasting, the goblins learned that being a chieftain is boring. Adventures are interesting. And so, they decided that the Birdcruncher tribe should either entertain them or bring an adventure to quell their boredom.

Another great feast was prepared, and goblins scattered every which way to get things ready. A few even went with Squealy Nord to hunt for truffles.

To begin the day’s entertainment, a young goblin by the name of Mothmangler Munge stepped forward. Munge had heard a tale he thought was certain to
impress the chieftains to the point where they wouldn’t hit him or throw food scraps at him anymore: the Legend of the Green Goblin King. This tale, which Munge overheard while spying on a travelling merchant, involved the appearance of a mysterious Green Goblin King, who arrived at a lord’s court and offered a unique sport: the chance to chop off his head as long as he, the Green Goblin King, was allowed to return the blow afterward. In the story, the Green Goblin King has his head chopped off, and then, after reattaching it… Well, Munge couldn’t remember how the story ended, as it got less interesting after the head-chopping part. But he offered the group a chance to re-enact the tale and find out. Spook stepped forward to play the part of the Longshank King and Munge gave him a dwarven waraxe to decapitate him with.

As Munge’s head flew off (with a somewhat surprised look on its face), it rolled across the ground to the whooping cheers of the crowd. Sadly, Munge hadn’t quite thought through the next bit very thoroughly, and the entertainment ended there as his body collapsed into the dirt in a bloody heap. Kay-Yay shouted that that wouldn’t do, and had the body cut up and scattered to the furthest corners of the cave. Then he finished the story on the fly, telling how the Green Goblin King had constructed a fake head, and describing how the real head popped up from under it once the king had wasted his blow. Then Kay-Yay explained in gruesome detail how the Green Goblin took back the axe and hacked the longshank’s head off in pieces, to the cheers of the crowd.

Following Munge’s failed attempt at adventure, Munkle Pupsquash lead four goblin dogs (Lil’ Flaky, Grumbles, Snortlick, and Chub-Chub) out of their rickety pen and brought them to the platform in the middle of the clearing.
There she regaled the assemblage with the goblin folktale called “The Charge of the Most Powerful Goblins.” This story tells of a group of goblin heroes who made a brave rush at the walls of a human city. The goblins leapt the moat, scaled the walls, and burned the whole place to the ground before riding off with all of the town’s pickles. In her storytelling, Munkle compared Kim-Yay, Kay-Yay, Spook and Sizzlebang to the great goblin heroes from the old folktale in the hopes of currying favour with the disgruntled chieftains. Munkle then explained the terms of her amusement— the goblin dog sprint. Mounted on the fidgety goblin dogs, the chieftains had to race into the forest and jump over a fresh mud pit, climb a steep ridge, break a squash painted to look like a stupid gnome, rush back down the ridge, and jump over a clump of brambles before returning to the clearing.

The chieftains mounted their goblin dogs and set off. It was neck and neck over the mud pit and up the ridge, until Kay-Yay veered off course trying to smash the squash. Charging back down the ridge, Sizzlebang fell off his goblin dog, Snortlick, and tumbled into the brambles. Kay-Yay, who was catching up, crashed into the back of Sizzle’s head, and the two limped back into the clearing to find that Spook had won a jar of bacon flavoured restorative ointment.

The next set of goblins prepared a bit of fun—accented with a whiff of burning and a taste of explosions. The goblins made a number of straw effigies representing some of the goblin chieftains’ conquests. Six of these crude dummies were fashioned into dog shapes, three of them into horse shapes, and one particularly lumbering creation somewhat resembled an ogre (meant to represent Pa Munchmeat, the ogre the chieftains defeated to become the leaders of the Birdcruncher tribe). The straw figures were arranged in the clearing 10 feet from the front of a low platform, and each of the goblin heroes was handed a single star candle firework.

After the fireworks are distributed, Trimple Rotmouth, a recent convert to Zarongel, explained that the goal of this “adventure” was to shoot the fireworks into the straw effigies, preferably setting them on fire. Once lit, the star candle fireworks shot four flaming embers. To make this a contest among the chieftains instead of a fiery free-for-all, each figure was worth a different number of points. The dogs were worth 2 points each. The horses, 1 point each, and Pa Munchmeat 1 point, but he would be able to be hit more than once before disintegrating into a fireball. The chieftains were not the best shots, Sizzlebang’s second firework hit himself, and Kay-Yay missed nearly every round. In the end, Kim-Yay was declared the winner, and received an Elixir of Hiding, which he gave to Spook.

Now, goblins enjoy playing strange and sadistic games. And one of the favourites among the coastal tribes is a game called killgull. To play this game, one end of a length of twine is tied to a seagull’s foot, while the other end is held by a goblin.
Other goblins hurl rocks at the poor bird, trying to knock it out of the sky. The goblin holding the twine can jerk the length to make the goblins miss their throws at the bird. This event almost didn’t happen. The Birdcrunchers didn’t bother to save any live seagulls from the cookpot, an error they immediately regretted and instantly felt shameful for forgetting. However, Dillbi Tenthumbs saved the day when she managed to trap a vulture as it was pecking at part of the meal, and substituted that bird for the requisite seagull.

Dillbi gave each of the Chieftains a bag full of good throwing rocks, then went to the cage to release the tethered vulture while she held on tightly to the twine. After Dillbi released the bird, the group took their shots at the greasy thing. The vulture was hard to hit, and Dilbi was skilled at jerking the twine to save it from several shots, but eventually, and just as the twine slipped out of her hands and the vulture was about to escape, Kim-Yay hit the vulture in the head and knocked it to the ground, winning a steadfast gut-stone in the process.

After the game of killgull, as the goblins were about to begin a strange puzzle game involving bags of wasps, boxes full of nettles, and jars of nails, Squealy Nord burst into the clearing in a squealing panic. Beat up and bruised, Squealy pounced forward, bowed low, and began snorting and pawing the ground with his trotters, obviously trying to tell the chieftains something.

The goblin heroes jumped back on the goblin dogs as the tribe tended to Squealy Nord. They charged through the forest in the direction of the Bestest Truffle Field and found out that something had gone terribly wrong out on the truffle hunt. Squealy and three goblins went to the Bestest Truffle Field to get the special ingredient for the feast when they discovered a group of Sczarni—traveling criminals found throughout Varisia—camped out by the trail. The goblins tried to sneak by, but the filthy humans noticed them and immediately attacked the truffle-hunting expedition. Squealy Nord only barely managed to escape, but the three goblins were killed, their heads impaled on narrow poles outside the Sczarni camp. Two wagons, their wooden panels exquisitely carved and vibrantly painted, sat in the forest clearing. Logs for sitting and gear for cooking surrounded a campfire, and the smell of a greasy stew floats on the gentle summer breeze.

The humans jumped up as the goblins rode into the clearing and prepared themselves for battle.

We Be Goblins Too: Part 3
The Munchmeat Farm

The Birdcrunchers expected their new leaders to head out the very next day to challenge and, hopefully, defeat or drive off the ogre known as Pa Munchmeat. Several even volunteered to join them, inspired by the bravery of their new rulers.
However, Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh had a few words of advice for the group before they set off. Standing on the ridge outside of the Birdcruncher Cave, looking down on the Munchmeat Farm in the valley below, she warned them that the fire-breathing pigs she saw would breathe fire, and that Pa Munchmeat hits hard when he isn’t asleep.
“He also casts spooky plant spells and has a mean daughter with a pet weasel bigger than a horse, and there might be other monsters living on the farm as well.” She told the group of heroic goblins. Wise Mummy then gave the group a crude map that showed the best way down the cliff to Pa Munchmeat’s farm before shooing them on their way, warning that they shouldn’t bother returning to the Birdcrunchers until the task is done.

The Munchmeat Farm lies about two-thirds of a mile from the Birdcruncher village. As the bird flies, it’s a relatively short distance; on foot through the trackless tors, it proved an hour-long walk to get to the farm. Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh’s map was crude but accurate, and the party soon found themselves at the base of the cliff.

About 45 minutes into the walk, the party attracted the attention of Pa Munchmeat’s animal
companion Piggy. This beast was a huge boar that was not only foul-tempered and armoured, but also trained to belch gouts of fire after eating gourds of fire burping.

After dispatching the boar. The goblins quickly reached the front gate of the farm. A single rickety farm gate allowed passage through the wooden fence, below an archway made of broken branches and bleached bones. Many of the goblins elected to climb the rickety wooden fence than use the spooky gate covered in maggot-ridden goblin heads. The fence proved too unstable for them though and all of them plummeted into the thick mud beneath.

Once inside, the group surveyed Munchmeat Farm. A slimy-looking creek wound through the farm, which was barely anything to look at. A house in the centre of the fenced-in area leant against two hefty buttresses holding up three large beams. It was balanced on numerous thick log stilts that created a cage-like hollow in the mud below the building. A shed sat to the south of the building, and south and east of this shed were a few tired stretches of garden that look like they were best at growing mud and weeds.To the west an upturned boat, propped against the fence, had been built into an impromptu shelter.

As the goblins slowly made their way around the structure they saw that north of the house stood a three decrepit chicken coops. The nervous clucking of several chickens could be heard from within.

After surveying the house, the group determined that Pa Munchmeat was sleeping up in his room on the top floor, which Spook saw could be accessed by climbing up onto the roof of the house’s ground floor. Once he was up, he had the other members of his tribe pass him up as many explosives and fire makers as they could find out-turning their pockets and pouches. Then Spook sneaked into Pa’s room and placed the explosives under the sleeping ogre’s pillow. Tracing a trail of gunpowder back outside, Spook lit the fuse and watched as a tremendous explosion rocked the structure. The ogre emerged from his burning room moments later, staggering out before falling to the floor and rolling off the side of the roof.

Seconds later, the group downstairs were confronted by Pa’s furious daughter Guffy and her giant ferret Spike. As Guffy swung her huge club, the goblins desperately tried to hold their own. Kay-Yay was knocked down by a blow to the head, which thankfully didn’t crush in his skull, like the next blow did to the last of their Birdcruncher companions. Just when all hope seemed lost, Spook jumped down from the upstairs window and snuck up behind the Ogre’s daughter, delivering a fatal blow right to her behind.
The day was saved, or so they through. The badly damaged shack shuddered and began to collapse. As it fell, a startled owlbear emerged from the cage underneath the house. It opened it’s beak in a mighty roar, and out popped another goblin!

Ol’ Sk1ddlez “the owlborn” Mc Sk1d PØØP3R had been contemplating death as they faced the prospect of becoming a tasty owlbear snack, but just as the owlbear closed its beak around the old goblin, the shack collapsed and it ran outside.

Free from death, Sk1ddlez turned and attacked the owlbear, with the others joining in to save their new kin. Once the owlbear was slain, the group had a quick look around the rest of the farm. Kay-yay took some stinky chicken eggs from the hen houses, and Sk1ddlez took some stinky chickens. Then, as they turned to leave, a cry for help caught their attention. The tell-tale squeal of Squeally Nord, the Licktoad’s old boar echoed out from within the overturned boat in the front of the farm.

Seeing that the entrance to the boat was blocked by a huge sleeping sow, and not wishing to wake her, fearing she may be of the fire-breathing variety, the group struggled with all their might to tip the whole boat over, lifting it off the pigs and sending it sliding down into the river, with Squeally Nord aboard. The goblins tried to make their escape sailing down the river, but it was too shallow and the path was blocked with bridges, so they elected to have Squeally hop out and drag the boat over land, all the way back to the Birdcruncher cave.

Upon their return the new chieftains were greeted with cheers and celebrations, for the Birdcrunchers had been saved! Sk1ddlez gave the tribe the chickens he had collected and they threw them into the big stew pot to cook up a celebratory feast that would last for days to come.

We Be Goblins Too: Part 2
The New Chieftain!

The second dare took the contestants and the crowd to the west, where a particularly low valley had subsided into a permanent swamp of nasty standing water. A failed attempt by the Birdcrunchers to build a bunch of huts on stilts left behind a haphazard arrangement of wobbly posts protruding from the boggy ground. The goblins laid wooden planks across several of these posts, creating narrow bridges above the bog.

In this dare, the contestants were fitted with wide, clumsy, human boots. Twelve stirges were tethered to some of the posts out in the middle of the swamp. The goal of the game was to kill as many stirges as possible without falling into the swamp below. Not long after Wise Mummy threw her thunderstone to signal the beginning of the dare, Sizzlebang charged at Angry Lynn. She had raced out onto the narrow bridge rather quickly and had already killed two stirges, and Sizzlebang sought to eliminate his competition.

Failing to knock Angry Lynn off, the two goblins ended up in a tussle while Spook, Kay-Yay and Kim-Yay fought off three blood sucking stirges who had latched on to them. The tussle eventually caused Angry Lynn to loose balance and she slipped and fell into the swamp below.

As Angry Lynn joined a sorry looking Squiggly near the shore, she yelled out to her wife Kim-Yay to avenge her. It was too late however, as Sizzlebang slammed into Kim-Yay and knocked her off into the mud mere seconds later. Then while Spook and Kay-Yay racked up more kills, Kim-Yay climbed past Squiggly, whose heavy armour was causing him to slowly sink into the bog where he first entered it. Kim-Yay finally got vengeance, pushing in Sizzlebang.

Realising that they were the only two remaining, Spook decided to try and claim the 5 bonus points for being the last goblin standing by jumping across to Kay-Yay and pushing him off, but misjudged the distance between them and ended up face-planted firmly in the muddy bog. Kay-Yay was declared the winner by default and left with 9 points. Sizzlebang managed to claim 2 points before his rampage, while Angry Lynn and Spook were awarded 4 points each for their kills.

Finally, for the last dare, Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh lead the chieftains-in-waiting back toward the Birdcruncher cave—as they approached, the stink of rotten meat and spoiled
milk grew. The scent came from a horrific “pie” that had been created in a 10-foot-diameter bowl-shaped depression in the rock. The bowl was 18 inches deep, and filled with a nasty, not-quite-boiling-hot slurry of spoiled milk, mud, swamp water, mashed-up grass, and dead birds. The top was covered over with an incongruously delicious- and flaky looking pie crust. Several cauldrons of boiling pie filling sat nearby, along with a number of large, dented metal funnels.

Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh explained that the giant birdmeat pie was still baking, and the chieftains-in-waiting would all be tied up and placed in the pie to cook. The goblins would have to race to be the first to escape the pie. Complicating this though, were the four golden eagles, very much alive and very angry at their predicament, who were thrown into the pie with them. Killing an eagle earned a goblin a bonus of 5 points, making up for the fact that only the first three out would be granted points for escaping.

With the rules explained, the contestants were lined up around the edge of the pie and have their wrists and ankles tied together. As Wise Mummy used her last thunderstone,
all the contestants were pushed into the pie. Almost as soon as they fell into the boiling mess, Sizzlebang and Kim-Yay had their bindings untied. Kim-Yay took an early lead, breaking out of the pie to claim the 10 point first place prize. Sizzlebang on the other hand decided to let off a bomb in the close quarters and try and earn some points for killing the eagles. He managed to injure a few, getting a few angry bites in retaliation. Mostly he just blew out the remaining pie crust and half the filling.

Goblins on the sidelines eagerly added more near-boiling hot pie filling, scalding Kay-yay and he struggled with his bonds. Spook managed to free himself in the commotion, as did Squiggly Spooge, who broke his ties with sheer brute force. Spook made it out of the pie just ahead of Squiggly, as Angry Lynn untied herself and Sizzlebang threw down his sting-chuck, releasing a cloud of angry insects which stung two eagles to death. The goblins on the side poured in more steaming hot slurry right onto KAy-yay, who screamed in pain before falling silent beneath the surface.

With no points left to earn by escaping, Angry Lynn pulled out her blunderbuss and took out the remaining two eagles. Sizzlebang and Angry Lynn both claiming 10 bonus points each for their kills. With the competition then declared over, the two carried their drowning companion out of the pie and resuscitated poor Kay-Yay.

Wise Mummy took a few moments, muttering to herself as she tallied the final scores, before announcing the winners. The new chieftains would be Kim-Yay and Angry Lynn!
As promised by Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh, the chieftains were presented with the Crunchy Crown. And all of the contestants were granted access to the tribe’s treasure chest.
For the rest of the evening, the Birdcrunchers enjoyed a celebratory mood with The chieftains and their friends the focus of goblin pandemonium. Some of the subjects
prostrated themselves before the new leaders, moistening their feet with kisses and runny noses, while others screamed and sobbed and brought gifts of food and offers of goblin frolicking. Goblin after goblin came forward to try to impress the new leaders—by juggling live stoats, by head-butting stumps, and particularly, by setting things on fire… themselves included. Eventually though, the night came to a close, and the new members of the Birdcruncher tribe settled in for a good night’s rest. Tomorrow was going to be a big day.

We Be Goblins Too: Part 1
The Birdcruncher Moot

Life was good for the Licktoad tribe. They had slain Vorka the Cannibal and Lots’legs Eats Goblin Babies Many and Brinestump Marsh was safe at last, or so they thought. This was until one day, the heroes of the Licktoad goblins return home to find their whole village had been destroyed by human adventurers, and their tribe massacred. Homeless, and with no hope of finding those responsible, the goblins set out for the closest goblin-friendly region: Ravenroost. The area known as Ravenroost is occupied by the Birdcruncher Tribe, a group friendly to the Licktoads. At one point, the Birdcrunchers counted several caves and the hills above them as their own territory, the Licktoads find them crowded into a single cave.

They were soon greeted by a wrinkled old goblin woman leaning on a gnarled wooden staff decorated with puppy tails and horse ears. She wore a ratty doghide gown cinched with a rope belt on which a collection of dog’s paws, horseshoes, stirges, and the pickled and shrunken head of a bright blue mite were all displayed. This was Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh.

“Well, well! What have we here? Licktoads, by the look of you,
and from what I hear, orphans as well, hmm? Looking for a new
place to live, I suspect? Well, you might be in luck, because we
need new blood. Our own chieftains have been… lacking… in
chieftainish ways. We’ve been having problems lately with an
ogre and his fire-breathing boars, you see, and any goblins
capable of killing the boars and driving off the ogre… or driving
off the boars and killing the ogre… or… or whatever—well, they’ll
not only be welcomed into Birdcruncher territory with open
arms. They’ll be made chieftains, one and all!”
With that, the gathered Birdcruncher goblins suddenly
animate into cheers and song. Eager and excited, they surge
out of the cave to welcome their saviors, but suddenly freeze as
the old woman shrieks out a command for silence. The goblins
freeze in place, and she continues in a softer voice.
“But we can’t just assume you’re the stuff chieftains are made
of. You might just be lucky. No, no… before we accept you as our
saviors and before you’ll even have a chance to face off against Pa
Munchmeat and his pig… I declare we have a Chieftain Moot!”

That evening, a huge feast was held around the cave’s central bonfire. In the morning, the group was led out into a nearby valley for the first dare in the Chieftan Moot: The Blind Bird Shoot.

During the bird shoot, the Licktoads were all blinfolded, and told to fire at three flocks of birds that Mummy Sprattleharsh released. With only their hearing and blind luck to aid them, the goblins loosed their arrows into the air. Although one lucky arrow from Kay_yay did hit a bird from the closest flock, a lot more ended up flying into the crowd of onlooking Birdcrunchers. One arrow even glanced the side of Kay-Yay’s face!

In the end Kay-Yay was awarded 3 points, although his sister Kim-Yay managed to score one better with 4 points. Sizzlebang was also awarded 1 point, for a particularly poor shot which knocked a Birdcruncher right off the tree he was watching from.
Then it came time for the next dare.

We Be Goblins: Part 3
Vorka Defeated

With Vorka’s frog cut open from the inside out, Spook jumped back into the fight. Soon all the goblin heroes surrounded Vorka as she struggled to keep herself healed. Unable to fight off the heroes, the cannibal found herself tripped up by Squiggly Spooge’s flail, and lifted her head to see the snarling face of Flannel, leaning in for the kill.

But just as soon as Vorka the Cannibal fell, another foe emerged, her huge dog, Cuddles. The dog burst through the door while the others were distracted by Vorka’s death. Kim-Yay spun around and shot at the dog with her blunderbuss. The dog charged at her but became tangled in some of Vorka’s ornaments and left itself exposed to Kay-Yay, who unleashed a crossbow bolt right into its heart.

The goblins took a moment to recover, and sitting down to rest on a large red chest, Spook realised that his seat actually contained the fireworks they had been sent to collect. Free to do what they pleased now, the goblins quickly divided the remaining contents of Vorka’s cabin into two piles: Shiny Stuff and Burny Stuff. The shiny stuff was added to the fireworks chest, and the burny stuff was piled up around the mast on the main deck. After the chest was safely thrown off the side of the ship, Kay-Yay used four of the paper candles given to the group by Chief Gutwad to cover the burny stuff in gunpowder.
As the dog on the top deck barked angrily at the group, they slid down the ramp and retreated to a safe-ish distance. Squiggly Spooge then took aim with a desnan candle and fired it up onto the shipreck’s main deck, igniting the junk pile and burning down the home of the traitorous goblin Vorka once and for all.

The goblins returned to the Licktoad village triumphant, to the sound of cheering and squeals of delight. They were invited up to the Chief’s hut, where he congratulated them personally and gave them all lavish titles that he definitely didn’t make up on the spot. Squiggly Spooge was betrothed to marry the Chief’s daughter, Gupy Wartbits. Sizzlebang was named the Boss of Fire while Kay-Yay became the official Boss of Village Songs. Kim-Yay was made the Head Village Lookout while Spook became the Overseer of Village Stabbings. Finally, Angry Lynn was named the Master of the Pig Pit, tasked with looking after Squealy Nord.

The goblins all enjoyed a huge party that night in celebration of their success. Many great dares were made and many fireworks set off. Squiggly and Gupy were married and all was good in the Licktoad Tribe.

We Be Goblins: Part 2
Into the Marsh

The morning after the feast, the goblins were awoken by Slorb and given some fireworks for use on their journey. They were given two Desnan candles, four paper candles, and a skyrocket. They packed up their equipment and went on their way, following the creek deep into the swamp. They were travelling for about half an hour when Spook was nearly shot by a web and Lotslegs dropped down behind him. A battle ensued and the spider was mortally wounded and eventually killed, although in her death, she nearly claimed the life of Sizzlebang as he wounded himself on her fang while trying to extract some poison. The goblins found her lair a few steps away and recovered a crossbow and some liquorice taffy amongst several potions and valuable coins.

The adventurers continued following the creek and finally came across a beached ship, indicated by the map to be the source of the fireworks. The little goblins opened up the gate and were immediately accosted by a wild horse that ran out from behind the ship. The horse was no match for the goblins though, and soon it was riddled with the bullets of Kim-Yay and Angry Lynn. The group then climbed up the ship’s gangway but Angry Lynn set off a trap and a wasp’s nest came bouncing down the plank. Spook narrowly avoided it, but Sizzlebang was right behind him and decided to blow it up! This released a swarm of wasps that enveloped the goblins for a painfully long while.

Deciding that the plank was too much trouble, Kay-Yay pulled the ladder from his Very Useful Robe that is Useful, and climbed up onto the main level. Here he and Squiggly Spooge encountered a wild dog guarding a locked door, but the dog was no match for Squiggly and Kay, who quickly put the horrible creature to death while the others hid.

The other goblins then came out from hiding and Angry Lynn blasted the lock off the door, waking up the occupant of the cabin. It was none other than Vorka the cannibal! Squiggly charged in atop his wolf Flannel, and managed to engage Vorka in a close quarters duel before she could utilise her magic. The rest of the group turned their attention to her pet giant frog. Spook poked it with the Gorge of Gluttons, but the frog struck back and gobbled him up, until only his legs were protruding from the edge of the frog’s mouth. Kay-Yay healed Spook, who cut his way out of the frog’s mouth.

We Be Goblins: Part 1
The Great Feast

Members of the Licktoad tribe in the Brinestump Marsh discovered one of their tribe goblins was engaged in writing! And what’s more, he was writing about the Licktoad tribe! Well, since everbody knows that words steal thoughts from your head, this goblin was branded by those same letters on his face and named Scribbleface, then he was exiled from the village. When the rest of the goblins were going through his hut, Chief Renwattle Gutwad found a box inside. When he opened the box, he found a bunch of fireworks and a treasure map that looked like there was a possibility of there being more fireworks!

Chief Gutwad removed the items and the hut was burned down using the fireworks, which was fun for all. He then called a feast to drive out the remaining bad spirits and secretly called six special goblins to meet with him: Kim-yay (gunslinger), Angry Lynn (gunslinger), Spiggly Spooge (cavalier), Sizzlebang (alchemist), Kay-yay (bard), and Spook (rogue). In the chief’s moot house, His Mighty Girthness himself, sitting in his tall Teeter Chair, spoke directly to the goblins instead of using Slorb, his second-in-command. He told them that up the coast, there is a place where more fireworks are. He also warns the party that if they don’t come back with the fireworks, he will feed them to the village boar. Slorb supplies them with the treasure map and they go outside to join the feast.

The group started the night with a round of cider apples. During the feast, there were a whole bunch of dares, the types that goblins normally engage in. Squiggly was dared to Dance with Squealy Nord. He rode the piglet on its back, and held on for a whole 18 seconds. Because of this, he won a Gourd of Dragon Brew, but decided to give it to Sizzlebang. Next up, Sizzlebang was dared to eat a bag of poisonous bull slugs real quick. Sizzlebang ate the entirety of the bag, without even removing all of the poisonous parts, and was only sick once, so he was awarded the Gorge of Gluttons by the chief, but he gave it to Spook. Up next was Spook, who was dared to engage in a session of Hide or Get Clubbed. He slipped into the nearby forest and stealthily managed to evade his goblin pursuers until they got bored and wandered back to the village. For winning the dare, he received the Ring That Lets You Climb Real Good. Lastly, Kay-yay ran through the Rusty Earbiter, a contraption made up of rusty metal and other sharp things. The bard squeezed through, only getting stuck once and suffering no injuries. For his outstanding performance, he received the Chief’s Personal Very Useful Robe That Is Useful. The feast ended soon after and everybody fell asleep.


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